The holidays can be a wonderful time, but they can also be quite challenging for those who struggle with disordered eating. The good news is, there are simple steps we can take to help ourselves or our loved ones more easily navigate any challenges.
Why the holidays are so difficult for those with disordered eating.
Many celebrations are focused on food.
The holidays are often centered around food and gatherings with loved ones. Social expectations during these events can be particularly challenging, given that many people who struggle with eating disorders often experience an urge to socially isolate.
Normal routines are disrupted.
Deviations from expected schedules can be especially anxiety-provoking for those who are relying on structure to guide their eating behaviors. Treatment team members may also be out of the office or have abbreviated schedules during the holidays. This can be rough for those new in their recovery who are used to consistent weekly appointments.
Reconnecting with others can cause anxiety.
Getting together with friends and family members not seen in awhile may put someone who struggles with disordered eating into the uncomfortable position of having to field questions about any changes in weight or appearance. Well-intentioned comments can result in anxiety or poor body image.
Expectations of joy and happiness.
The holidays are a time when it seems everyone is expected to be full of joy and happiness. This is extremely hard for those who struggle with eating disorders and other mental health conditions, such as anxiety or depression. They might ask themselves why they aren’t feeling happy or joyful when it seems like everyone else is. This can lead to further feelings of isolation and depression.
Exercise and diet talk are more common.
Holiday gatherings and New Year’s Resolutions discussions are often inundated with talk about various diets and restrictive meal plans, “good” foods versus “bad”, etc., which reinforces negative food beliefs and take away from the enjoyment of a social gathering.
How to support ourselves and those we love who are struggling.
1. Avoid triggering topics of conversation.
Make every attempt to refrain from discussions about weight, calories, appearances, exercise, and diets. Find other interesting topics to chat about like asking about your family member’s or friend’s job, pet, hobby, or exciting vacation taken since you last saw them!
2. Catch yourself before labeling foods as “good” or “bad.”
Also avoid words suggesting that certain foods are better or worse than another, such as healthy or unhealthy, clean eating, guilty pleasure, sinful or indulgent. Recognize that all foods have a deserved place at the table.
3. Keep remarks to yourself.
Don’t comment about what others choose to put on their plates or the quantities of food they are eating.
4. Steer clear of conversations about exercise and “burning off calories eaten.”
If exercise or running 5Ks during the holidays is a tradition in your family or social group, try to come up with some new or alternative traditions that do not focus on physical activity.
5. Reach out to a loved one who is struggling before events.
If you know a loved one is struggling, and they have mentioned their eating disorder to you previously, it can often be incredibly helpful to reach out before any gatherings to let them know you can be a support person for them during these get togethers.
6. Focus on your relationships.
Spend lots of quality time with your loved one who might be struggling; make an extra effort to have healthy, supportive and loving conversations.
7. Study up on eating disorders.
Learn as much as you can beforehand about eating disorders and the toll they can take. The National Eating Disorder Associating (NEDA) has some great educational resources for loved ones.
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