The “SuperMom” complex is one of the many psychological/social risk factors for postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). Just as a woman can be proactive about optimizing her physical health during pregnancy, she can also take steps to protect her mental health and reduce the risk of developing a PMAD.
One of the best things friends and family can do for women is to remind them they don’t need to be perfect to be a great mom!
What Every Mom Should Know
- The pressure to be a “perfect” mom can take a toll on mental health during pregnancy and postpartum, and can contribute to developing a PMAD.
- PMADs are the number one complication of pregnancy and after childbirth and can include depression, anxiety, OCD and PTSD.
- Perfectionism and unrealistic expectations can make PMAD symptoms worse.
- A healthy “SuperMom” prioritizes her well-being, not perfection.
- Asking for and accepting help isn’t a weakness; it’s an important part of one’s well-being.
Many women enter motherhood with high expectations for themselves. They want to keep the house clean, stay connected with friends, return to work, care for their baby and maintain a sense of normalcy. All while navigating sleepless nights and a major life transition.
When reality doesn’t match those expectations, it’s easy to feel discouraged. For some women, that pressure can contribute to a PMAD.
What are PMADs?
Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (also known as PMADs) are a group of mental health conditions that can occur during pregnancy and after childbirth. They include postpartum depression, anxiety disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Common symptoms of PMAD include:
- Persistent sadness
- Excessive worry or anxiety
- Irritability
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Difficulty sleeping
- Intrusive thoughts
- Feelings of guilt, shame or inadequacy
Why can the “SuperMom” mindset be harmful?
Wanting to be a good mom is healthy. Expecting perfection isn’t.
Many women feel pressure to do everything themselves and do it flawlessly. When those expectations aren’t met, they may feel like they’re failing—even when they’re doing exactly what a new parent should be doing: adapting, learning and caring for their baby.
What increases the risk of PMADs?
In addition to perfectionism, several factors can make women more vulnerable to PMADs, including:
Major life changes.
A new baby changes relationships, routines and priorities. For instance, relationships with friends who do not have children will change. New parents will not be able to pick up and go whenever they want any more. They may find they don’t even have time for personal hobbies and activities they once enjoyed.
Stressful life events.
Financial concerns, moving, starting a new job, divorce, illness or the loss of a loved one can increase emotional strain during pregnancy and postpartum. Add caring for a baby, loss of sleep, and fluctuating hormones and the risk increases exponentially for new mothers.
A history of trauma.
Women with a history of abuse, neglect or other traumatic experiences may be at greater risk for depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress symptoms.
Obstetric and infant related.
Pregnancy and birth complications, having an infant in Neonatal Intensive Care or with a chronic health problem, and having multiples (twins, triplets, etc.) can all add significant stress and increase the risk of developing a PMAD.
What does a real-life “SuperMom” look like?
We need to redefine what it means to be “SuperMom.” It shouldn’t mean a woman has to have a spotless house, toned body, home-cooked meals and an easygoing baby. Being “SuperMom” means a woman is able to care for herself and her baby, and is able to reach out for and accept help when she needs it.
A real-life SuperMom:
- Prioritizes her well-being
- Accepts help when she needs it
- Gives herself grace
- Understands that rest is productive
- Knows that asking for support is a sign of strength, not weakness
Some days a SuperMom’s “superpowers” might mean ordering takeout, letting someone else do the laundry or taking a nap instead of cleaning the house.
How can loved ones help?
Small gestures can make a big difference. Consider bringing a meal, helping with chores, watching the baby so mom can rest, taking older children for the day, or simply checking in and listening without judgment.
Support and encouragement can help moms feel less alone during a challenging season.
When should someone seek help?
If symptoms of depression, anxiety or emotional distress persist or interfere with daily life, it’s important to reach out for support from your physician, therapist specializing in perinatal mental health or a support group.
If symptoms become severe or include thoughts of self-harm or harming your baby, seek immediate medical attention or emergency support by calling 911, visiting an emergency department at the hospital, or calling Pine Rest’s hospital contact center at 800-678-5500.
PMADs are common, treatable medical conditions. Early treatment can make a meaningful difference.
You are not alone! Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders are the #1 complication of pregnancy. Pine Rest has innovative, proven programs to help you feel like yourself again.
