Maintaining sobriety while attending events traditionally associated with drinking (such as holiday parties) is possible, but it will require planning. The more safeguards you put in place ahead of time, the greater likelihood you will be able to distract yourself from using.
The following ideas can help you stay sober and enjoy the holiday season–or any social gathering throughout the year–where alcohol is part of the celebration.
Sobriety Safeguards During the Holidays
1. BYO non-alcoholic beverages.
Often in gatherings where alcohol is available, having a drink in your hand is habit. Take control by bringing your own non-alcoholic (NA) beverage of choice, removing the option to fill your glass with an alcohol-based drink. There are quite a few traditional holiday beverages that are just as good (or better!) without alcohol, like cocoa, tea and hot cider, just to name a few. Find more by searching online for “NA holiday drinks” or “holiday mocktails”.
Do not rely on your host to provide NA options.
If you are meeting at a venue that doesn’t allow you to bring your own beverage, review their menu online or call ahead of time to plan what drinks will work for you. Many venues now include mocktail offerings that are fun, festive, and seasonal.
2. Create your own entertainment.
When in recovery, self-driven distraction can be beautiful. While there are likely to be activities and entertainment, prepare to have a sober activity for yourself or invite the group to participate in one such as:
- Play a board or card game
- Ask everyone to bring their favorite childhood games
- Go sledding or ice skating
- Make ornaments and decorate the tree
- Go on a holiday light tour
- Go caroling in your neighborhoofd
- Have a holiday movie marathon
- Hold a “white elephant” gift exchange
It helps to mentally focus on a chosen sober activity rather than fixating on the desire to drink or all the drinking around you.
3. Shift the focus from drinks to food.
Promoting food as a focal point can change the tone of the gathering as well as reduce the amount of alcohol. This encourages your group to celebrate around food as opposed to drinking. Some ideas include:
- Host a cookie bake-off and exchange
- Decorate cookies together
- Have a gingerbread house decorating contest
- Hold a competition for the best holiday-themed dessert, appetizer or mocktail. Vote for a winner and award a sober-friendly prize, such as a coffee giftcard
4. Know your triggers and have support on standby
Take some time to look within yourself before the event to identify your triggers. Understand how those triggers may arise throughout the event and what, or whom, you may need to rely on work through those.
Once those are identified, it can be helpful to have someone supportive and sober with you during those moments of temptation. They can help keep you from relapsing and effectively work through triggers as they arise.
If you feel ready and comfortable to share, it can be incredibly helpful to tell those around you and those hosting the party that you are sober and/or in the process of recovery. This can help you gain their support and also aids in eluding temptation. The more people you have around to hold you accountable, the more likely you are to avoid using.
Additionally, it is likely that if the people around you are aware that you are in recovery, they may be willing to do what they can to support you through that journey, or even call for an entirely sober event.
5. Give yourself permission to leave early if necessary.
A significant part of recovery and maintaining sobriety is having a community and connection. Getting out and socializing can be an important part of recovery, but only you will know when you have maxed out. Plan for these situations by driving yourself to the event. This way you’ll have the means to leave at any time you deem necessary for yourself, for your safety, and for your sobriety.
Although socializing is important, nothing is more important than your recovery. Now is the time when it is absolutely OK to put your own needs first. Those who support you will understand if you need to leave “earlier than expected.”
