Autumn has returned and so have school days packed with nonstop social interaction, adjustment to new routines, and information overload. Gone are the days of late-night sleepovers with friends and rolling out of bed just prior to lunch. The transition back to a consistent sleep routine to ensure kids have the energy to power through their school days can be a nightmare for many families.
Why is getting enough sleep so tricky for kids?
A 2023 study by the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicated that 35% of children ages 3 to 17 did not get enough sleep recommended for their age range. In addition, the CDC estimates that 70% of U.S. teens get an inadequate amount of sleep.
57% of kids who did not have a consistent bedtime routine were among those struggling to get enough shut eye. Additional factors impacting sleep included having a pre-existing mental health diagnosis, living in a low-income household, parental physical and mental health concerns, belonging to a racial or ethnic minority, and community factors including safety, support and amenities.
One factor not explored in the study was the role of technology in sleep difficulties. Kids and teens often engage in screen activities in the hours leading up to lights out, which is shown to negatively impact quality of sleep due to continuous brain stimulation.
Sleep can be a great superpower to battle mental health challenges.
While we all experience that groggy feeling from time to time after a poor night’s sleep, the developing brains of children and teens are more sensitive to insufficient sleep. According to experts at Texas Children’s Hospital, chronic sleep difficulties can increase the likelihood of developing a mental health condition such as anxiety or depression. In addition, children already suffering from these conditions are at risk for worsening symptoms when experiencing sleep deprivation.
For example, teens struggling with depression often report difficulty with getting to and staying to sleep. A poor night of rest can then further increase feelings of lethargy leading to sadness and poor self-esteem. In cases of extreme sleep deprivation, those struggling with major depressive disorder are at risk for experiencing increased suicidal ideation.
It is also possible for children getting inadequate sleep to display symptoms that mimic ADHD (attention deficient and hyperactivity disorder) including difficulty staying on task, focusing and impulsive decision making. This can lead to a misdiagnosis of ADHD when sleep issues are at the root.
Sleep is an important “superpower” that is vital in helping kids regulating mood, emotions, and behavior throughout the day. So how can parents ensure kids are taking full advantage of the benefits of a good night’s rest?
Parenting Tips to Help Kids Catch More Zzz’s.
Take a “time out” to worry before lights out.
I have noticed in my work with children and teens that the most common culprit behind hours spent tossing and turning and big emotions at bedtime is worry. Between school, extracurricular activities, homework, household chores, and responsibilities, kids have little time to take a breath let alone process their emotions that have stacked up throughout the day.
For some kids and teens, jam-packed schedules can be a temporary escape from having to process difficult emotions, such as worry or anxiety. Therefore, bedtime avoidance may be less about defiance and more about worry avoidance.
Bedtime is one of the few times a child is alone and not actively busy, giving space for underlying feelings to move to the surface. If kids do not have the skills or the space to process these feelings in healthy ways during the day, bedtime can easily be associated with anxiety.
Parents can help here by setting aside a “worry time” for younger children and encouraging older children and teens to engage in journaling or open dialogue. Giving kids the opportunity to pause and reflect on their worries not only normalizes and encourages emotional expression, but provides a time to teach and model coping skills through connection.
Establish a routine.
Having a process in place to signal to kids’ minds and bodies that it is time to wind down for the night is essential. This establishes clear expectations and predictability which can help eliminate bedtime power struggles between parents and kids and become a positive time for meaningful connection and attachment.
- For younger children, allowing them to choose which tasks they do in what order (brushing teeth, putting on PJ’s) gives them a sense of autonomy in the process.
- For kids that struggle with staying on task during bedtime routines or try their hand at behavior to delay bedtime, it may be helpful to use a visual check list with pictures that they pick out or draw themselves for each task.
- Integrating a “beat the timer” type game for each task can be engaging for kids who need extra motivation. Encourage kids to check off each task as they go so they can track their progress.
Create a distraction-free and calming space for sleep.
Screen time before bed can suppress melatonin levels and delay sleepiness due to blue light emission. Not to mention that texting with friends or scrolling social media can stir up more intense emotions that could delay sleep initiation.
- Power off all screens including tablets, phones, computers and TVs an hour before saying goodnight.
- To remove the temptation of using devices during the night or being awakened by notifications, parents should ideally remove electronics from their child’s room at night.
- To promote a relaxing environment, integrate calming bedtime activities that engage the five senses (sight, taste, touch, sound, and smell). Rituals that can promote relaxation include reading, listening to soft music, dimmed lighting, sound machines, and even applying lotion with a scent your child enjoys. Talk with your child about ways they want to incorporate different calming sensory experiences into their bedtime.
Try “Bedtime Fading” to fight sleep anxiety.
Some parents find that despite efforts to address fears and engage kids in a structured, relaxing routine, their kids struggle to power down their brains due to negative associations between bedtime and failure to sleep. At this point, parents may want to experiment with bedtime fading.
Bedtime fading is an evidence-based strategy for re-aligning your child’s internal clock with the desired bedtime. According to Dr. Gwen Dawar from Parenting Science, parents will temporarily move their child’s bedtime late enough that their child experiences a powerful physiological urge to sleep, reducing the time between lights out and sleep initiation. Then, over the course of several days, parents gradually adjust their child’s schedule until they are falling asleep at the desired time. Say that your child’s bedtime is 8:30 PM, but they are not falling sleep until 10:15 PM. The bedtime would be moved up to about 15 minutes prior to sleep initiation. After this is mastered for two nights in a row, the bedtime can be pushed back in 15-minute increments.
While bedtime can often be associated with tantrums and stress, it doesn’t have to be! Keeping a routine, integrating calming activities, and addressing fears can transform bedtime into a time of positive connection and peace for both kids and parents.
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