Pregnancy and the first year after childbirth can be filled with joy, anticipation and meaningful milestones. They can also bring unexpected challenges, emotional ups and downs, and significant mental health struggles.
For many families, conversations about preparing for a baby focus on nursery décor, feeding plans and birth preferences. What often gets overlooked is the emotional adjustment that comes with pregnancy and postpartum recovery.
The reality is that Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) including postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, pregnancy-related depression, OCD, PTSD and other mental health conditions are among the most common complications of pregnancy and childbirth. They affect approximately one in five birthing parents and can impact the entire family system.
Knowing how to support a loved one during pregnancy and postpartum can make a meaningful difference in both recovery and overall family well-being.
What are Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders?
Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) are mental health conditions that occur during pregnancy and throughout the first year after childbirth.
While postpartum depression receives the most attention, PMADs can take many forms, including:
- Perinatal depression
- Postpartum depression
- Perinatal anxiety
- Panic disorder
- Perinatal obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Birth-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Bipolar mood disorders during the perinatal period
- Postpartum psychosis, a rare but serious medical emergency
These conditions are not signs of weakness, poor parenting or a lack of love for a baby. They are medical conditions influenced by biological, psychological and social factors.
Why Support Matters So Much
New parents are often surrounded by messages that they should feel grateful, happy and fulfilled at all times. When their experience doesn’t match those expectations, many struggle in silence.
A parent experiencing depression or anxiety may feel guilty for not enjoying every moment, or they may be constantly worrying about their baby’s safety, their own health and whether they’re doing enough. Others may feel emotionally numb, irritable or disconnected from themselves.
Supportive family members can help reduce isolation by creating space for honest conversations and reminding parents they don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. Sometimes the most important message a new parent can hear is: “You don’t have to do everything yourself.”
Signs a Loved One May Be Struggling During Pregnancy or Postpartum
Many PMAD symptoms are mistaken for normal exhaustion or stress associated with having a baby. While every person is different, common signs of PMAD that may be overlooked include:
Emotional Symptoms:
- Persistent sadness
- Frequent crying
- Excessive worry or fear
- Irritability or anger
- Feelings of hopelessness
- Guilt or shame
- Feeling overwhelmed
Physical Symptoms:
- Difficulty sleeping, even when the baby sleeps
- Changes in appetite
- Fatigue beyond expected new-parent exhaustian
- Panic attacks
- Physical tension and restlessness
Behavioral Symptoms:
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Avoiding bonding experiences with baby
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
If any of these symptoms persist, worsen or interfere with daily functioning, professional support may be needed.
Practical Ways to Support a Pregnant or Postpartum Woman
Many loved ones want to help a new mom but aren’t sure where to start. The most effective support is often practical, consistent and compassionate.
Check In and Try to Really Listen.
Instead of asking only about the baby, ask how the parent is doing. Try questions like:
- “How are you doing today?”
- “What would be the most helpful right now?”
- “What’s been the hardest part lately?”
Listen without immediately trying to solve the problem. Sometimes people simply need a safe space to talk openly about their experience.
Offer Specific Help
Vague offers such as “Let me know if you need anything” can feel difficult to act on when someone is overwhelmed. Instead, offer concrete support:
- Bring a meal to the family
- Pick up some groceries
- Fold laundry
- Watch older children
- Look after the baby while Mom rests
- Drive Mom to appointments
Specific offers make it easier for a tired new parent to say yes.
Help Protect Rest
Sleep deprivation is common during pregnancy and after childbirth, and lack of sleep can worsen mood and anxiety symptoms. Family members can help by:
- Taking shifts with infant care when possible
- Assisting with household responsibilities
- Encouraging opportunities for uninterrupted rest
Even small periods of restorative sleep can have a meaningful impact.
Validate Their Experience
Well-intentioned comments can unintentionally increase guilt. Avoid statements such as:
- “Enjoy every minute!”
- “Other people have it harder …”
- “You’re lucky to have a healthy baby.”
Instead, try:
- “That sounds really difficult.”
- “I’m glad you’re telling me.”
- “You’re doing the best you can.”
- “You’re not alone.”
Validation helps reduce shame and encourages people to seek support.
Supporting One’s Mental Health is Different than “Fixing” It
Loved ones often feel pressure to solve the problem when someone in the family is struggling. The truth is that PMADs are medical conditions that typically require professional assessment and treatment.
Supportive family members cannot cure depression or anxiety—but they can help someone access care, stay connected and feel understood. This role is incredibly important.
Encourage Professional Help if Needed
If someone you care about is struggling, encourage them to speak with a healthcare professional.
Effective treatment may include:
- Individual therapy
- Group therapy
- Psychiatric evaluation
- Medication management
- Specialized perinatal mental health services
- Family support and education
Research consistently shows that PMADs are highly treatable, and that early intervention can improve outcomes for both parents and children.
Partners and Family Members May Also Need Support
When a parent experiences a PMAD, the entire family is affected. Parents of newborns may struggle with taking on additional infant care responsibilities while navigating their own emotional reactions. Grandparents and other loved ones may worry about saying the wrong thing or not doing enough to help.
Supporting a struggling parent is not about being perfect. It’s about showing up consistently, remaining compassionate and helping share the emotional and practical load.
Families that approach mental health challenges together often emerge with stronger communication, deeper understanding and stronger support systems.
What New Parents Need to Hear
Whether you’re currently pregnant, recently welcomed a baby or are supporting a loved one through this season, remember:
- Struggling to adjust to this huge life change does not mean a new parent failing
- Needing extra support is not a sign of weakness
- PMADs are common and treatable
- Recovery is possible
- New parents deserve love, care and support just as much as the baby does
When to Seek Immediate Help
If a pregnant or postpartum person experiences any of the following signs, seek emergency medical care immediately. Postpartum psychosis is rare but requires urgent treatment:
- Thoughts of self-harm
- Thoughts of harming the baby
- Hallucinations
- Delusions
- Severe confusion or disconnection from family
By Pine Rest Staff. Reviewed by Jordana Seebeck, LMSW.
Sources:
- American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists
- National Library of Medicine
- Postpartum Support International
You are not alone! Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders are the #1 complication of pregnancy. Pine Rest has innovative, proven programs to help you feel like yourself again.
