Parenting Tips: Preventing Suicide in Our Kids

Parenting through a child’s emotional pain can feel overwhelming. When sadness deepens into despair, the fear that your child might be considering suicide is overwhelming. While there’s no single solution, your presence, your words, and your willingness to seek help can be life-saving.

Tune in Early

Children and teens often don’t say, “I’m depressed.” Instead, they show it—through withdrawal, irritability, changes in sleep or eating, or loss of interest in things they once enjoyed. These signs may be subtle at first, but they matter. If your child seems “off” for more than a few days, don’t wait. Gently ask:

“I’ve noticed you’ve been quiet lately. Want to talk about what’s going on?”

Even if they don’t open up right away, you’ve planted a seed of safety and trust.

Talk About Suicide–Yes, Really

It’s a myth that talking about suicide will put the idea in someone’s head. In fact, asking directly can be a relief. Try saying:

“Sometimes when people feel really overwhelmed, they think about hurting themselves. Have you ever felt that way?”

If the answer is yes, stay calm. Thank them for trusting you. Let them know you’re here and you’ll help them get through it together.

Listening is Powerful

When your child opens up, resist the urge to fix everything immediately. Instead, listen with empathy. You might say:

“That sounds really hard. I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way.”

“I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Avoid minimizing their feelings or jumping to solutions. Just being present and validating their emotions can be incredibly healing.

Watch for Subtle Signs

Sometimes, kids don’t say anything at all. Instead, they might:

• Give away prized possessions
• Talk about death or disappearing
• Show sudden mood shifts
• Withdraw from friends or activities
• Engage in risky or self-harming behavior

If you notice these signs, take them seriously. Trust your instincts.

Build Connection and Routine

Isolation can deepen despair. Help your child stay connected to friends, hobbies, and family rituals. Even small things—like cooking together, watching a show, or going for a walk—can rebuild a sense of belonging.

Consistency also helps. Regular meals, sleep schedules and predictable routines provide stability when emotions feel chaotic.

Build Trust with Your Child’s Friends, Too.

Children and teens often confide in their friends before they open up to adults. That’s why it’s important for parents to get to know the people their child spends time with. Invite their friends over, ask about their interests, and create a welcoming environment where they feel safe and respected.

Consider having an open-door policy—not just literally, but emotionally. Let your child’s friends know they can reach out to you if they’re ever worried about your child. You might say:

“If you ever feel like [your child’s name] is struggling or needs help, you can always text or call me. I’m here to support them–and you.”

This kind of openness builds a safety net. It also shows your child that you’re not just watching over them—you’re building a community of care around them. When friends know they can speak up, it increases the chances that someone will intervene early if your child is in crisis.

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Talking Tips for Parents

Here are a few ways to keep conversations open and supportive:

• Use open-ended questions: “What’s been the hardest part of your week?”
• Avoid judgment: “I’m not here to criticize–just to understand.”
• Be patient: Silence is OK. Sometimes kids needs time to find the right words to express themselves.
• Check in regularly: Not just when things seem wrong. Make emotional check-ins part of everyday life.

Create a Safe Environment

If your child is at risk, remove access to anything they could use to harm themselves—medications, firearms, and sharp objects. Stay with them or ensure they’re never alone until you’ve connected with professional help.

Seek Professional Help

If your child expresses suicidal thoughts or shows signs of depression, reach out to a mental health professional, pediatrician, or school counselor.

If there’s immediate danger, reach out to these resources available 24/7:

• Call 911
• Go to the nearest emergency room
• Call, text or chat 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• Call Pine Rest at 800.678.5500

You Are Not Alone

Supporting a child through emotional pain is one of the hardest things a parent can face. But your love, your words, and your actions can be a lifeline. By staying present, speaking openly, listening deeply and seeking help when needed, you’re showing your child that they matter—and that there is hope.

Written by Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services staff. Vetted by therapist Elizza LeJeune, LMSW.