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An interview with the Rev. David May, M.S.W.
May serves the inner city, which gives him the chance
to work with people from all socioeconomic, racial, and ethnic groups.
It also gives him first-hand experience in working with gangs and the
victims and perpetrators of young violence.
Today: Is violence among the young increasing or are we just
hearing more about it?
May: Both. Violence is increasing across the country. While it's
more visible in larger cities, people are experiencing it in small towns
and rural communities. It occurs on the coasts and in the Midwest. Everyone
with a camcorder can serve as a potential TV reporter, so we're hearing
more about violent acts.
Are any groups (age, sex, race, socioeconomic, geographic area) particularly
more prone to violence?
Typically when we think of gangs, we think of teenage males. Girls are
involved, too, but often in a more ancillary role.
When it comes to violence itself, one of the key factors is socioeconomic
status. Historically, aggression and violence are associated with families
who have less economically. In my opinion, race in itself is not a significant
factor. I realize there is a large segment of the black population in
socioeconomic straits. Consequently, the picture looks like the black
community is more prone to be involved in gang activity than is reality.
Geography plays a role. When clusters of socially and economically disadvantaged
people live in the same spot, that area becomes vulnerable for producing
aggression. It follows, then, that an economically disadvantaged, highly-populated
inner city community is a likely place for problems. But that doesn't
mean problems will occur and it doesn't mean other areas are exempt.
I watched a program about a white gang in a small community in Arkansas-not
a place you'd think of for gang activity. They filmed an initiation of
a female gang member. Five male gang members kicked and hit her. They
broke her nose. When she was about to pass out, they'd pick her up and
tell her she was doing great and they loved her. Then they'd knock her
to the ground again.
Gang problems aren't just black problems or just urban problems.
What are the common factors that entice young people to be in gangs-whether
in Los Angeles or Grand Rapids?
Developmentally, there's a time when we all need the reassurance and
affirmation of a group. This is especially important in early adolescence.
We want to belong.
Sometimes this natural need becomes contaminated. If young people don't
feel connected to their social environment, they begin to feel alienated.
They also feel alienated if they don't conform to adults' expectations.
Their hair may be too long or their pants hang down too far. This creates
distance. Alienated youths see others as "self-seeking" and the environment
in which they live as "hostile."
Young people also may feel powerless because many adults view children
as liabilities, not assets. Young people don't produce. As a result, they
are perceived by the adult culture to have little value. Young people
are aware of the adults' devaluing feelings.
Problems arise when alienated teens band together. These teens often
feel powerless, so resort to aggression as a way to feel empowered. As
they perceive the environment becoming more hostile, friends bond together
to protect each other. Young people who have bonded together to protect
themselves lie at the foundation of gang development.
Gang youths watch out for each other because they don't think they receive
equal protection under the law. One of the reasons black-on-black crime
continues to rage is that few black perpetrators, murderers, and aggressors
get caught.
This perceived inequity in the justice system leaves them feeling unprotected.
They begin to believe that they have to protect themselves and if they
want justice, they have to administer it themselves because the system
doesn't work for them.
Another factor is each person's struggle with his or her personal value
in relation to the larger culture. Teens typically don't see "wisdom"
in the adult population. Many adults don't behave responsibly themselves,
so they can't manage developing responsibility in children. In fact, children
lose respect for adult authority.
Once I counseled the family of a young man who got shot in the streets
of our city. His mother said, "I took my son to church so he could have
better role models. When we walked into the sanctuary, he said, 'Here's
where all my customers are. I could set up shop here.'"
It was devastating because these were the adult models he was supposed
to look up to, and they were buying drugs from him.
Many adults are not fulfilling their roles or living in a way in which
youth would look up to them. Their moral fiber doesn't pass the test of
the adolescent eye that looks for stability, assurance, congruence, and
truth.
It also seems as if violent offenders are getting younger. Is this
true or are we just hearing more about them?
Once again, the answer is both. Youth are getting involved at a younger
age because of the penal system's limitation in dealing with young offenders
in drug trafficking and sales. For example, if a 19-year-old uses a 12-year-old
to sell drugs, the younger person will be dealt with less severely if
he or she gets caught than would the older person. If fact, 12-year-olds
may "get their hands slapped," whereas 19-year-olds are at risk to do
some serious prison time.
Ironically, this system allows young people to become assets. One of
my 13-year-old clients told me that he could make $250-$300 an hour. He
bought a car he wasn't old enough to drive. That kind of money is powerful
incentive to be involved in the street culture.
When you add the incentives of personal value and the power of money
to the sense of alienation and the lack of respect for adults, we produce
a population of young people who are more capable of more violence than
ever before. Their idols and models are their "street mentors." A 7-year-old
told me when he grew up, he wanted to be a Gangster Disciple [a local
gang]. There's a population of elementary school children practicing the
signs, symbols, and behaviors of gangs. Children want that sense of belonging,
of being valued, and of being productive.
Do gangs have any positive traits?
Gangs start out of friendships. They provide opportunity for people to
grow close to each other, to value each other's lives to the point they
may sacrifice their lives or freedom for each other. The camaraderie is
positive despite that it's in a negative setting.
Who's to blame for young people getting involved in gangs? Parents?
The media?
Blame is not the issue. Children who engage in street culture and who
have become violent have done so by a converging set of factors. Socioeconomic
conditions, disposition, geographical location, racial attitudes, peers,
and beliefs all come together to affect the behavior we see in young people.
Maybe there are some families in which the parents have a higher percentage
of contribution than others. Ultimately, however, children make their
own decisions. Those decisions are influenced by those other factors.
When I started doing this work, my perceptions changed. I work with families
in which the parents seemed to do good parenting work, but their child
was on the way to jail. I also work with families headed by single-parent
welfare mothers with six children by several different fathers whose children's
personal struggles produced less conflict dynamics than families with
high socioeconomic status, who live in "nice neighborhoods," etc.
The media plays a significant role in shaping the perception of violence
and the perpetrators of violence. Statistics say children are exposed
to thousands of murders on television by the time they reach a certain
age. This may desensitize them to violence. However, violence is not media-generated.
Violence lies potentially in all of us. We have a choice whether to engage
it or not. Going to a violent movie won't "cause me to be violent" unless
other factors have predisposed me to act violently. Consequently, a violent
movie may act as a catalyst for me to act out something I'm already likely
to do.
Another piece is "mob psychology," what happens when groups get together.
They almost get in a frenzy and will do more damage and violence as a
group than any one person would do individually.
This affects more than adolescents. For example, a few years ago a group
of high-level, professional, educated people collectively made a conscious
decision that resulted in the deaths of hundreds of people. These auto
executives knew a mechanism in their cars was faulty. They decided it
would be cheaper to be sued by the people injured (or the survivors of
those killed) than to change the mold.
The point is, when people get into groups, they can make irrational decisions.
If you pulled any of those executives aside and asked them personally
about the decision, they probably did not agree with it. But somehow,
the psychology of the group allowed them to behave in a way they wouldn't
individually.
What can parents do to prevent their child from getting involved in
gangs or other violent behavior?
When children experience a loving relationship with their family, God,
Christ, and their church family, it affects their moral and value system.
These positive forces have the potential to meet the same core needs that
gangs meet.
Young people can be supported by camaraderie, a sense of belonging, a
feeling of empowerment, and spiritual autonomy in an arena that teaches
teens control and awareness of choices.
The first line approach is the more we-especially parents-can model,
the more effective that will be in guiding children to positive peer interaction.
We can't just send our children to church, we take them there and attend
with them.
It's not enough to take kids just on Sunday morning. Teens need to be
involved in church programs to affect their beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors.
A study program can teach Biblical principles. Youth groups give them
a chance to use the principles they've learned.
There are always examples of God's principles surrounding us. We must
use these opportunities to teach our young people how they should live.
Young people also need activity in the spiritual realm. Fun time with
other families and with peers helps forge that sense of belonging, family,
and unity. It makes bonds so they're less likely to resort to violence
in dealing with others.
In addition to providing a spiritual, moral base, parents must know who
their children's friends are. When my daughter was five, we encouraged
her to bring her friends to the house. She recently graduated from high
school, and she still brings her friends to our home. She's comfortable
with that-and so are we.
When I meet my daughter's friends, I often ask, "Do I know your parents?"
I talk to them and get to know who they are. I have talked with my daughter's
teachers, saying, "She spends a lot of time with Anicia. I'm concerned
that that's a good relationship for her to be in." Teachers can often
give helpful information.
Parents can't be so involved in their own worlds they don't have time
to involve themselves in their children's world. That world is formative.
If you're outside the formative circle, then you face real communication
gaps.
You talked about setting up patterns when your daughter was five years
old. What about parents of teens? Is it too late?
It depends on the child. By their teens, their opinions, beliefs, and
systems are ingrained. The earlier you start, the better. But don't assume
anything. Try anyway. I talked with a 15-year-old who was failing school
and hanging out with the wrong kids.
I talked to her mother about being more involved and paying more attention.
One day, the girl came to my office and started crying. She said, "My
mom came to my room last night to check on me." She was in tears because
her mom simply opened the door, didn't even say anything, but just checked
on her. She was so needy for something like that.
Children need boundaries. They need something to push against. And they
need to discover that some things don't move. Parents must be firm, but
loving. They need to be understanding disciplinarians. They must be consistent.
They, themselves, have to model the very principles they're trying to
instill. That takes work.
I define work as "expending energy to produce a change while you're working
in the change you're trying to produce." That's what parents need to do.
One of the reasons young people leave the church environment is the contradiction
between concept and behavior. The young man who saw his customers in the
church pew won't listen when Christians talk about God and moral standards.
What parents-and other adults in a young person's life-do must mirror
what they say.
While role models like Michael Jordan may inspire some teens to stay
away from drugs and take care of their bodies, the most important role
models are the people they see every day.
What other steps can we take to help children avoid a violent lifestyle?
Assertiveness training is a deterrent to violence. Research shows that
assertiveness training reduces aggressive responses in adolescents. We
should include assertiveness curriculum in elementary schools so children
learn how to solve problems differently. Training in conflict resolution
skills is critical.
For many children, the culture in which they're growing up has a certain
approval for aggression. It's almost necessary. If you can't fend for
yourself, you get beat up-a lot.
We have to find solutions that we implement on a broad scale. Bureaucratic
red tape often prevents curriculum changes and neighborhood programs.
In the meantime, children are killing children.
Do teens outgrow gangs?
Some will. I know a man who is 50. He was in a gang at 15 and still lives
as if he's a gang member. He's never outgrown it. What eventually happens
to most gang members is the street culture will bring them to a crossroads.
They eventually realize they have to decide if they're going to change,
go to prison, or die.
The increasing incidence of violence is frightening. Is there any
hope for the future? Or had we better prepare for an ever-increasingly
violent world?
There is a school of thought that supports the idea that our faculties
and ingenuity will bring us to another level of interpersonal relationships.
Eventually, we will live in a less violent society.
Another school of thought suggests we live in an increasingly violent
community. In the Christian community, there are those who believe the
Bible prophecies of the end times support movement toward increased violence.
As for me, regardless of orientation, the answer is the same. Whether
working through us personally or collectively, it will take God acting
in our hearts to ultimately end the violence in our world.
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