Adult Spirituality

By Richard Houskamp, D.S.W.

Spirituality is an extremely broad topic. A brief article cannot address it comprehensively. As a result, I have chosen to discuss spirituality from the perspective of a Christian therapist. In doing so, I realize I am "looking at the elephant" from a very limited view. Nevertheless, it may provide a perspective which is not always considered in discussing spirituality and therefore be helpful to some who struggle with spirituality in their own lives.

What is spirituality? The heart of spirituality is captured in Augustine's famous statement, "Thou hast made us for thyself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee."

This statement does not suggest an escape from the world. Rather, our living, our willing, our choosing are to reflect an attitude of serving God with our entire being. Eugene Peterson, in The Contemplative Pastor, states that Christian spirituality means "...living in the mature wholeness of the gospel. It means taking all of the elements of life--children, spouse, job, weather, possessions, relationships--and experiencing them as an act of faith. God wants all the materials of our lives" (p. 13). Spirituality includes all aspects of our lives.

Second, spirituality is a process. In the Reformed tradition, it might be likened to sanctification. It is a life-long quest which requires that we seek to reform our basic tendency to live "as the world lives." It demands that we become God-conscious in our living. And in doing so, we discover that God's presence surrounds us in remarkable ways.

Third, spirituality encompasses a holistic perspective which includes a person's developmental and relational experiences. Each person is a unity of the physical, psychological, social, and spiritual.

For example, the psyche has the ability to control the bodily functions of the autonomic nervous system by reducing heart rate, blood pressure, and body temperature. Another example would be the increased interest in the power of laughter and commitment-to-life to withstand the ravages of cancer and other deadly diseases. And people with deeply held spiritual beliefs have survived long-term confinement, torture, and pain--a testimony to the power of spiritual beliefs to overcome physical and psychological abuse and torture. Corrie Ten Boom was an example of such a person.

Clinical experience also supports the conclusion that each individual is a psychospiritual unity. When people are encouraged to share their experience of God and their spiritual struggles, some remarkable consistencies begin to emerge in their personal relationships, their view of themselves, and their perceived relationship to God. What hurts or heals their view of self and their relationship with others will be reflected in how they perceive God relating to them.

The story is told of a young boy, living in the streets of a large city, who was befriended by a Christian youth worker. When told by the well-intended youth worker that "God was like a Father," the boy replied, "If God is like my father, I don't want nothin' to do with him."

Because the person is a psychospiritual unity, a person's past experience and current circumstances do indeed contribute to mental and emotional problems. This is true for the Christian and non-Christian alike.

As a professor at Calvin College, I was frequently confronted by well-intended Christian students who resisted the fact that Christians have serious mental and emotional problems and that these problems are not solved by simple admonitions to pray, repent, or "get right with the Lord."

In fact, such simple conclusions may result in adding to the person's illness or confusion. Christian clients often present me with the same concern. They ask, "If I'm a Christian, why are the promises of God not realized in my life?" How does one respond to such a question? It is important to make a distinction between God's promises and our own experience of those promises. God's love is sure and constant. Our experience of it is not.

The Christian is guaranteed that God is the victor, that God has won the battle over the forces of evil, and that God's good future is assured. That victory was won for us in Christ's death and resurrection.

But there are promises beyond the victory of Christ over sin and death. Galatians 5: 22-23 identifies them, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self- control. Against these there is no law." Ephesians 2:2 adds, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Note how all of these virtues have a relational and communal component to them, evidenced most clearly in the emphasis on love. So, the fruit of the Spirit is to be found in our relationships to each other.

When these relationships are distorted by what James Fowler has called our "fallenness" (that which happens to us and shapes our ways of being selves in which we have to acknowledge some degree of complicity, awareness, and assent) or our "befallenness" (that which happens to us beyond our ability to influence it), we need to experience healing and perhaps, repentance.

How then do we bring together the assurance of God's love with our own experience?

• by being Christlike in our relationships with each other
• by being the vehicles of God's love to those around us
• by providing corrective experiences to those whose own experiences have resulted in their feeling alienated from God and significant others
• and by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to Christian compassion and love when it is offered to us.

We are to be a healing community. "Love one another as I have loved you." And we need to minister to each other with humility and compassion. "Only the wounded can serve in the army of the Lord" (quoted in James Fowler, "Faith Development and Pastoral Care" from The Ballad of the Sad Cafe by Carson McCullers).

Therefore, only the "wounded" can minister to others; only the "wounded" can experience spirituality.

Much healing and spiritual growth occurs in the body of Christ, the members of his church. By being Christ-like, by evidencing the fruits of the Spirit, we become sources of healing to each other.

But there are occasions when this is not enough:

• when "fallenness" and "befallenness" have consorted to bring about mental and emotional pain
• when a victim of early physical and sexual abuse cannot overcome the ravaging scars of hopelessness and helplessness
• when dysfunctional families or individuals have contributed to an overwhelming sense of confusion, anger, or despair
• when death, divorce, or chemical imbalances disrupt the fine-tuning of the person

At these times, professional help may be necessary. But this help is also evidence of healing which occurs in community.

Those of us who are privileged to be in the helping professions are agents whose task is to restore people to their community, where they will be able to continue their spiritual journey.

There is little doubt that God intended that the fruits of the Spirit were to be realized in community. But there are instances where the victims of "befallenness" have had such damaging experiences in their early development that they cannot experience God's love. And there are many examples of "fallenness" in which people are so alienated from themselves and others that God seems remote or unavailable.

 In such situations the question is inevitable: Have the people of God been given the responsibility of being what C.S. Lewis calls "little Christs" to those who cannot experience the love of Christ because they've never known consistent, affirming human love? Are those who have experienced God's love in human relationships--whether or not they acknowledge the source of that love--the only means by which some may experience God's love? A hesitant response is--yes.

This is not to suggest that God's love and forgiveness has not already been accomplished for those who believe. Christ's death and resurrection already assured that victory. However, the body of Christ may hold the key to enabling people to experience that love in this world.

This possibility is strongly evident in Matthew 25: 34-40:

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and ye gave me meat. I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink. I was a stranger, and ye took me in. Naked, and ye clothed me. I was sick and ye visited me. I was in prison and ye came to me Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these..., ye have done it unto me.

Spirituality involves all of our living and being. It is a process which is never completed. Spirituality is realized in our relationships to each other, as a reflection of God's relationship to us. Those who will lose their life for Christ's sake will find it.

And our hearts will be at rest.