Sexuality and Wholeness

by Cleo Ludwick, D.Min., and Valerie Nanninga Engeltjes, M.A.

Historically, we have thought of sexuality as gender. We have limited sexuality to mean the physical part of ourselves, our biology.

If people think of gender as total sexuality, it becomes easy to see a person as a sex object rather than as a human being--as a part rather than as a whole. When we embrace a different definition for sexuality and think of it as the total energy of our bodies, it's difficult to look at others as sex objects because we realize sexuality means more than just biological parts.

We need a sense of each person's spiritual essence. Then we can recognize that spirituality and sexuality are intertwined.

God created us first as spiritual beings. Our most innate desire is for God. And God created two different sexes-both in God's image.

Spirituality is our creativity and imagination. Sexuality is the energy that enables us to make our creative thoughts real. The relationship is like that of imagination and technology. Imagination comes before technology. We had to imagine walking on the moon before we actually did it. We have to think about intercourse before we have the energy to engage in it. Our sexuality is the energy of our being that enables us to make our dreams happen.

As God's created people, we have a wholeness that is inclusive of our spirituality, our intelligence, and our ability to think, understand, and process. Sexuality encompasses all of these attributes.

When people think of sexuality that way, they see that it is much broader than gender. Sexuality as we usually think of it is only one part of the total picture. We must integrate all aspects of ourselves as we understand the unique, yet complementary contribution, of the opposite sex.

Sometimes to understand ourselves as whole, integrated human beings, it helps to look at and work on specific aspects of ourselves. Therefore articles in this publication will focus primarily on the emotional and physical aspects of sexuality while pointing to the broader definition.