Questionnaire

Distinguishing between passive, aggressive, and assertive responses circle the response you think is most appropriate:

1. Betty is the only female supervisor at a staff meeting of male colleagues. She frequently is asked to take notes and pour the coffee. Betty responds:

1. "You men are all alike! You never can stop using women for your benefit!"
2. "I would prefer that someone else take notes and pour the coffee. I have done this before and now I'd like to devote my full attention to this meeting."
3. "Well, I've done it before, but that's OK. I'm glad to help out."

2. Ron's neighbor lets his dog run loose in the neighborhood. The dog frequently dirties up Ron's yard. When Ron sees his neighbor, he says:

1. "I would appreciate it if you would not let Fido run loose in the neighborhood, He frequently leaves a mess in my yard and I don't want that."
2. "You should tie up that stupid mutt! If he comes in my yard again it will be the last time he ever does!"
3. "Fido is in our yard a lot. I hope you know where he is."

3. Ken's parents frequently phone to make sure Ken and his family have at tended church twice each Sunday. Ken's response is:

1. "Yes, we went twice and I appreciate your calling."
2. "Why do you treat me like a kid! Why don't you start minding your own business and butt out of mine!"
3. "I appreciate your concern, but I really don't like being treated as a child. Whether my family and I make it to church is between God and me and it's not something I feel, at this age, that I have to account to you for. Please don't ask me about this again."

4. Judy is frequently left home alone with the children in the evening while her husband is involved in church activities and his recreational interests. She approaches her husband and says:

1. "I'm feeling resentful about always being abandoned in the evening. I'm lonely and I feel taken for granted. I don't think this is fair and I want to talk to you about some changes."
2. "You might as well pack your clothes in your bowling bag and then you won't have to come home at all. Go ahead, just think of yourself!"
3. "It seems like you are gone a lot. The kids don't see much of you."

Answer key
1b, 2a, 3c, and 4a are assertive responses.
1a, 2b, 3b, and 4b are aggressive responses.
1c, 2c, 3a, 4c are nonassertive responses.