|
Assertive |
Non-Assertive |
Aggressive |
| Speech & Voice |
"I" messages; honest statements
that are direct and to the point. Well-modulated voice that
is congruent with verbal message given. Smooth, flowing speech
pattern. |
Lots of apologies and "ums," "ers,"
and "I means." "Beating around the bush"
and not coming to the point. Soft "wimpy" voice. |
"You" messages. "Loaded"
words that start fights. Sarcastic or cocky speech. Tense, loud
and demanding voice. Attacking. |
| Eyes |
Open with direct, comfortable eye contact
but not staring. |
Downcast or looking away. |
Glaring, staring, cold. |
| Posture |
Relaxed upright and "good" posture;
straight on. |
Excessive agreement and head-nodding; stooped;
leaning for support. |
Hands on hips; stiff or rigid; feet apart. |
| Hands |
Gestures appropriate with verbal message;
relaxed. |
Fidgety; packing at fingernails; fluttery,
clenched tightly. |
Finger pointing; pounding or thrashing; abrupt
gestures; touching others. |
| Examples of Behavior |
Giving compliments and accepting compliments;
hugging and affirming others; saying no to unreasonable requests;
controlling temper when angry; asking for what you want and
need; initiating and stopping conversations. |
Saying yes when you want to say no; going
along with others when you don't want to; avoiding others; peace
at all costs; apologizing for something you didn't do. |
Condescending; building self up while putting
others down; yelling; put downs; name calling; interrupting;
demanding; ignoring others; silent treatment; sarcasm; ordering
others. |
| Character-istics of Behavior |
Honest, direct, expressive, self-enchancing,
proactive, appropriate. |
Inhibited, indirect, emotionally dishonest,
self-denying, reactive. |
Self-enchancing at the expense of another,
expressive, reactive, depreciates others, makes choices for
others. |
