by Grant Porteous, LMSW
I’ve seen two angry people this morning already. These folks couldn’t be more different, right down to their gender. Yet the effects of anger in their lives and on their relationships are so startlingly similar that I wanted to speak to this in case you may be wrestling with a personal legacy in which there is anger. I used to…
First, know that most angry people are angry because somewhere along the way someone created a legacy with anger in it. And the bad news is that legacy, along with the anger it contains, has now been passed down just like other more desirable legacies. The good news is there are some fairly straightforward things you can do to address this issue if you or someone you love has received a gift like that. But let me get back to that.
Second, having been given this legacy doesn’t excuse living off of it any more than receiving a legacy of family financial wealth excuses not doing anything positive with your own life. You can do something about it, and should, unless you think anger will bring you or those you love anything positive – and it won’t.
Third, when you’re dealing with most all styles of anger (with the exception of domestic violence – that’s a different breed of cat) there are almost always some predictable steps in the change process, and that’s where the rubber hits the road anyway. So, without going into all the “why do I act this way” questions or even the specifics of “what do I do about it,” I want to outline a few steps that I know from over five years of running an anger workshop and over twenty years of my own anger has taught me.
Yet, alas, this is a blog spot, not an article, and so if this is an issue you want to look at in more depth, check back in a week or so. Meanwhile, try not to let it make you angry!